I also dreamed of marrying and having a family with the hope of stability. This dream was realized in the 1990’s when I married and a daughter was born of this union shortly thereafter. While those say the marriage should not have taken place, I can only say that God had bigger plans in the future.

In the beginning, everything was great [to a point] until the 21^st Century arrived. The restrictions on one’s personal freedom were being felt especially with regard to work and lunch. I also lost my mentor to Lung Cancer in 2002 which lead to a worsening situation.

There were also demands from my wife for perfection which could not be achieved. I did everything to save my marriage. I tried to find jobs in journalism and writing. There were some honors especially from China but my wife was not pleased. She thought that where I worked there was no tension.

At the end, everything fell in spite of the good intentions. This happened in 2011 and there were the recriminations.

The pressure was too much and I was alone with people suggesting what should have been or not have been done. Many have told me that I should have stayed in the North so I decided to visit New Jersey and Connecticut. My response is that the same would have happened or worst given the ideas inherent in the north.

Regardless, I decided to visit the North to see if they [my distant family] were right. They were wrong.

There was nothing in common in these states with the exceptions of some family members and the values were different. I was told to accept homosexuals and lesbians since some of them are part of my family and NOT to comment about it as an aberration.

Remember love the sinner and not the sin I was told and my response was NO. The NO was based on the reality that the majority of these people wanted to be with God and Satan. They wanted me to accept certain relatives for what they are including their sin. My response was to pray for their conversion but association was out of the question. This would have lead to a domino effect of compromising the beliefs taught in the Bible.

I was told that if I had done medicine in the North and married, I would have had a great family, money, and professional growth. Personally it would not have happened because of the incompatibility with the values of the North with regards to God. It would have been a job killer since being politically correct is not my thing. On a personal [and sentimental] note, there were family members in Connecticut who introduced me to their lady friends and the compatibility was absent. On my part, I closed the door on future relationships out of lack of interest. The Albania Syndrome was returning in full force.

Back in Florida [after the brief hiatus in the North East], there were those who wanted to introduce me to women. My response was when I wanted family in the 1980’s, the studies came first and now it is too late. There were some women who were interested and my response was no. In many incidents, I would state reasons as to why a relationship was impossible. There was one instance in Florida [history repeats itself since this was done in Connecticut in 2011 and Ohio in 1980] that one woman would meet me and I would fart on purpose in order to sabotage any possible relationship.

My reason for this behavior was the thought that it was too late for a relationship because the values of the 21^st Century were different from the previous century. I wanted to be alone permanently without the need to redo my life. I just wanted to be by myself, write on my blog and record sports videos and the result was as cold as Albania in the 20^th Century.

I even planned to accept another job within my work in which instead of 7:00am to 3:30pm, I would work that shift and additional eight hours. In other words [if I accepted this arrangement], I would be working from 7 to 3:30 and then 4:00pm to Midnight and do the same arrangements on the weekend.

The Albania Syndrome was in full swing but there was another force. I saw some videos of Silvio Berlusconi on You Tube and the memories of the comedy returned. I was going Ying Yang to the point that something had to give.

There were those who said that I needed to find a church because of an impending civil war within myself. The fear was that everything within me was going to eventually kill me. It was then that I decided to take action even though the course taken was unplanned.

I had to take action because the impending civil war within my person was real. Yet at the same time, I was fed up with the instability in life. The desire for stability was there and I desired it badly.